If you want to “make” a man, start with yourself -> Women only )
We often times like to blame someone for what we consider a “failure”. Oh, what a sweet feeling that is to be able to accuse someone and to feel gloriously victorious that it’s not us, but such and such who created all this. We are just standing by, or how new age people like to say, doing the victim consciousness (which happens to be the other side of manipulative nature and an inability to commit).
How do the male-female relationships work? They create a union of complete energy balance, only then it works as a couple or “unit” that moves together, shares goals and plans its life as one. We do all agree, that the union is driven by common goals and ideals. Don’t we? If it does not, this is when all sorts of imbalanced, abusive relationships are created. If someone in such a relationship experienced abuse before or has it in his history, he or she might only accept someone who acts as an abuser and would not be able to adapt to a relationship of respectful equals. But that is a subject of a different story. Here, we will discover the energy management in a couple or a union (as it’s applicable to all types of relationships e.g. at work, in business, on a plane) that is mutually accepting and shares the goals. Of course, imbalanced relationships are also based on the energy distribution, but it is almost self-regulatory and requires more intense look at the ways to change something and most of the times, it will require a dissolution of such relationship.
Let us take a “normal” union as described above. It runs based on the energy distribution: female energy (nurturing, warm, inviting, sensitive, receptive and accepting) and male energy (outgoing, aggressive, acting, achieving and conquering). I am not saying, that women are female energy and men are male energy. In fact, we can all agree as to how many examples of the contrary we can show. Which explains why it is important to understand how we fuel our relationship and whether we truly like. Such distribution can work for some time for both. But we all go through life cycles and we all have to deal with inner changes and challenges. Only understanding partner can accept that change, you might say. But also, your ability to communicate it. What I am saying is that we are so much used to playing certain roles and stereotypes that sometimes we are afraid to admit the fact that this fueling does not really support our growth. We might keep up because of security or other reasons, but ultimately, the “truth” comes out. In no event I suggest to run away, no. I suggest to start with being honest with yourself and admit what role is really your role right now and what you want to achieve within the union.
It amuses me to hear from women how they want their partner to act like a man. Meanwhile, such woman is greatly domineering in such relationship and the outlook at their couple does not leave a man a chance to invoke his masculinity as he is immediately told what to do, what not to do, whom to be friends with, where to go and which route to take. Does this ring any bell? That is why it is so important for us to first recognize what we are contributing and what we are asking for. There can be no two men in a complete balanced relationship. So, if you want man to act like a man, you need to become a woman. That simple. Now, our change as female automatically invokes the change in a male, and unless the male is imbalanced or damaged, he will begin to utilize the qualities we are looking for. If, however, there is an imbalance, watch out: you might not like how those qualities play out at all. In that case, you again, will have to decide, what to you want to do and what do you want to have and what you wish to sacrifice for that if anything. Whatever you choose, should make you feel whole and comfortable. Otherwise, it won’t last in a long-run and you will have to come back to square one somehow. I am simply saving your money on curing depression in the future here.
So, what we bring what to the union, defines the energy of the union. And in order to understand how do we want to change, we need to understand where we are. Meditate, walk in nature, talk to people, stir it up. You will know. And you will know what to invoke. Only you can become a person you want to be if you truly want to be happy. Here is a perfect opportunity to start: right now. :)
